Canada Day – A Celebration of the Technology
- Jun 27, 2019
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If you’ve ever participated in Canada Day celebrations, you would have no doubt realized the patriotism and devotion that our people have towards the country. If you’ve ever participated in Canada Day celebrations in downtown Ottawa, you would have quickly realized that you were a fool and should’ve stayed home that day.
From the torrential downpours of rain to the 3-hour line ups to get on parliament hill, to the cesspool of tourists with body odour…you’ll wonder at the end of the day if your time, energy, and money were better spent elsewhere.
We all know and enjoy common activities for the summer. I love biking down the Gatineau hills, swimming in lakes, chilling on beaches, and sometimes just enjoying a nice Heineken in my backyard. What I’ve recently discovered; however, is that I would enjoy these activities even more with the help of technology. It all started with a gift from my father in law…and then it went downhill from there. Or should I say uphill, since I love getting these things? Anyways, here’s a list of recommendations so that you start off on the right foot on Canada Day and the rest of the summer.
Stereo Waterproof Speaker
Don’t let the title fool you, this ain’t no regular speaker! Apart from being waterproof, shockproof, and dust-proof, it also acts as a mosquito repellent! This is my favorite feature because mosquitos have been the bane of my existence ever since I was born. They are my arch nemesis. My dream job is to hunt down and eradicate all living mosquitos in the world. I don’t even care what happens to the ecosystem. That’s how much they’re despised by me!
Obviously, this won’t happen, so the next best thing I would do is strap on these suckers to my backpack and take a hike in the woods. No more bug repellents or rubbing garlic all over myself. Yeah, you didn’t know that was a thing, did you?
This is a bike lock with a GPS! For you biking enthusiasts out there, what are your waiting for? Stop fumbling with your heavy-ass cable locks and get one of these smart bike locks that’ll put your mind at ease when you leave your specialized road bike locked in a sketchy area. Tough metal, global temper alerts, auto-unlocking and locking, built-in GPS that’ll track your bike’s movement in 100+ countries…the list goes on. Just download the app, set the code, and you’re good to go. You have an expensive bike; why not get a matching lock to set your mind at ease!
Going to the beach? Get one of these bad boys and take it into the water! Not only can you breathe while swimming, but you also get to see the muddy ocean floor with dirty seaweed. It’s go-pro compatible, so you get to record the countless number of sharp rocks that could puncture your feet at any moment. Seriously though, these things are FUN! Anti-leak, anti-fog, and your snorkel auto seals itself when you inevitably submerge under water. It makes swimming with regular goggles seem like driving a Dodge Caravan compared to racing with a Ferrari. It’ll make you feel like a king! Wait…that’s my van.
Sandless Beach Mat
Going to the beach again? But your snorkel mask is destroyed because your cousin thought it was a costume and took it to a party and did a keg stand while wearing it? No fear! Get a sandless beach mat and you’ll feel like a king again! Tired of discovering sand on your towel months after going to the beach? Here’s how the sandless beach mat works. It contains two dual weave layers where the top layer allows sand particles, dust, and dirt to pass through to the other side, while the bottom layer helps prevent sand from coming up underneath. It also has D-rings on its four sides to secure the mat to the ground on that extra windy day. I don’t know about you guys, but finding sand in my body crevices after the beach is almost as bad as getting bitten by mosquitos!
Okay, I’ll admit this is probably the most useless gadget you’ll ever buy, but damn…it is cool…figuratively and literally! It’s basically an outdoor underground fridge that keeps your beer cool in the summertime. Using the soil-cooling system in your lawn or yard, your beer will be kept cool with no electricity. All you have to do is: Dig a hole of about 95cm (or just take it easy using an auger drill), insert the cladding tube and fill-in your favorite kind of beer. 15 bottles fit into the solid bottle-holder no matter which kind of beer you prefer, as long as it comes with crown caps. Having trouble starting conversations at your garden party, or living the retired life and just don’t know what to do with your money and time? Get one and you’ll never regret it!
All in all, let's celebrate summer holidays with the Hi-tech gadgets and enjoy the convenience and harmony they bring to life.